FIRST DAY OF WORK

Hmm. Whoa. Ok. This 1 Chinese guy, slim, yet built, pale, with light moustache — named Jerome (omg, that’s a hot name, right?) taught me the Opening. Chairs and sequence and stuff. I don’t think I can keep up with this. But, I’ll try. It’s my first day anyway.

Then I had to do the pepper.

*Sneeze*

Joel and Jerome and Erene showed me what to do or what to say. I don’t think I’m doing it right. But, I’ll try. I was doing B2 bussing? Busboy. Haha. I’ve always wanted to be a busboy, just because it always sounded sexy to me. Everyone loves busboys. I see them on TV all the time.

Then I had to do a lot of odd jobs la. They call it “maintenance”. Nah, I prefer it to be called odd jobs. Or even better… Housework. Wahaha. Spray spray wipe wipe.

My shift ended at 3 but as usual, I’m the blurblock around here. They all laughed when they found out I put my bag in the wrong place. Laughed when I ended my shift 1 hour later than I should have. (I guess time flies by when you’re having fun.) Why do people laugh at me har? I’m totally blurblock. Otherwise, I’m numb. People have been laughing at me all my life lor, I think I treat it as nothing and just continue with my life.

I SAW FEROOZE. He came at 1 PM. He should’ve came at 5.

Let’s calculate net losses
$25-$43=-$18

Yay. But cannot calculate that way, because the clothes are a long time investment, can.

What would the Cafe do without me! =)

I’m missing Standley a lot these days … till I daydream about him on the bus, think about him when I’m showering, fantasize about him when I’m fooling with myself solo… I hope he doesn’t still feel pissy at me. LOVES ~

Since Jayne Yong and Ferooze Tabrani were pestering me to make another Cherine magazine cover… welp, here it goes…

SCROLL DOWN, MORON.

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Standley. Don’t be mad if Mabel has no eyes. It was Ferooze’s fault. That earring makes you look totally tai tai.

Overall, a crap issue, since I was rushed like mad like no tomorrow. Sigh.

I think he looks pretty sexy-plastic-dolly. Makes a guy like me horny!!!!

I saw this [[website]] … artistic salaries. Graphic Designers, Fine Arts, Photographers, Multimedia artistes. No surprise Photographers earn the least but Fashion Designers get around $60K a year? That’s $5K a month! Darn, I should’ve taken Apparel Design and Merchandising… ROFLMAO.

( But this is US statistics… in Singapore probably is reduced by a lot… like $3K a month, which is still a damn lot. Or is it? )

But [[this one]] gives me such a fright that graphic designers in Singapore earn much less than $2.5 K a month? Aiyoh.

Huh. Urm. Ok. Could be worse. Advice? Don’t major in Photography. HA.

I want to tell you all something. The most romantic song to me is Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know by Britney Spears. It’s so sweet, and if someone sang me that song, I would instantly fall in love. If someone dedicated and sang that to me on stage, I would totally cry. (”Ed, this song is for you..”) You know the feeling? You probably don’t. You’re all not romantics, unlike me and Fitrah.

Today is Jared’s birthday celebration? Oh. How come this year’s birthdays have been so grand? Like Fitrah’s at Swensens… and more recently, Jayne’s dunno-how-many-countless-neverending-days-celebration. I wonder if my birthday will be like theirs? I don’t know. I like surprises and silly gifts ([toy] DRUMS??!!) and sweet Joanne messages. I dunno. I’m always happy for every birthday of mine.

I think my favourite present was Malcolm’s hug. I dunno. That was really nice. Not that the other presents were bad. It’s just that … someone hugged me, you know? I love hugs.

Imagine what a kiss would make me.
On the lips.
Imagine sex.
Wa.
Losing my virginity on my birthday?

Ok, haha, wishful thinking. Fine, I think I’m a bit too anxious as well. I think I grossed you all out enough.

Sigh. (Here we go again.) Why don’t I ever get A. Why.
Is it because I’m bad at everything? Probably.
Is it because I submit too little research? No. I do research, but specify how much la. I can research everything nonsensical and non-related for you as well. You want!
Is it because I’m a damn blurblock? Hell yes. I really don’t know what’s going on like 90% of the time.

I just follow what the assignment brief tells me. Really. I obviously need more help than others.

Why am I always so shy when I’m showing my work to others?

Because it’s ugly.

I’ll probably get a C or D for it.

It’s fate.

(silence)

GIMME AN ‘A’ LAH, YOU effiotic LECTURERS.

I know.

I’ll go back to my witchcraft roots and cast a spell to make me score at least 1 more A, during my VisCo.

It’s OK, people, it’s not black magic. It’s just a self-help spell. Plus, I’m not using spells to inflict pain on others, so I’m fine.

Urm. I don’t do love spells. They always backfire. Ok thanks.

Brb. I go find a fire source to burn my incantation.

Early in the morning.
And I’m still not asleep. Lol. I’m crazy.

Jayne and Ferooze entertain me.
And Standley and Ed entertained me too.
Wow. For once in my life, I know an Ed. A gay Ed. Who isn’t me.
I invited Ed to a threesome alongside me and Standley.
He declined.
Standley scared him too early.
The fun just started lo.

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The links are broken.
It’s meant to be.
I made it that way.

Let’s do some random reflecting.

OH GOSH I LOVED BAPHO. Firstly, there were LOTS OF BOYS. Ok, not say lots, but more than the others. Kai En, Nicholas, Ferooze, Daniel, Standley, me, (Shawn, Farouk), eh ok, that doesn’t seem like much. And I was always following Standley. At the Jalan Besar also. Oh goodness, so fun. I follow people one. Shawn, Kai En, Nicholas. I remember Kai En went to shit at the hawker center (toilet). Snap snap snapping pictures.

I remember the first two weeks of Bapho, before I got attached… like that time Standley and I talked at Jupiter Cafe, then I was sweating, then we went to the Printing Room to find Daniel.. talk some more. In retrospect, he’s, like, the best friend I never had.

Film loading with Stacy Arianelle. She’s scared of the dark, so I offered to help her. OH FUCK YEAH, I’m scared of total darkness too, and being alone. I somehow conquered that? Huh. Anyway, loves it.

And I loved being silly with Deniece. She kept calling me “Annabella”, when clearly I said, “Annabelle.” Then she sang Sean Paul’s “Get Busy”. Good Lord. Good times, good times.

Then of course, after Standley and I got attached, there was this (real) rose in the darkroom (which WASN’T MINE)! I named it “Rosie”… then Roseanne was all shocked or what.

Anyway, I casually went to IRC… and guess what I saw.

Jared’s chalet? WTF? That means there’ll be thousands of gay guys coming? Oh Lord.

Ok la. Lots of things happened in BaPho… but nay nay. Now I’m just shook up by the fact that his chalet is going to be fucking wuzzum.

Then I went to Wikipedia

Today’s featured article made me laugh, I tell you.

ROFLMAO, can!

Today I went to the Cafe Cartel walk-in interview with Ferooze.

AND I SAW SHAWN TAN WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND. I was mouthing, “Oh my GOD.” Then his [[girlfriend]] screamed as she realised who I was. Ha. So funny.

The interview was pretty painless. I was observing the people. Chinese guys. Yumm. Eye-Can-Dee. Actually, it was only 1 guy. Cheh.

Anyway, we both filled out 1 form.

Then the (butch) manager, Jake, talked to us. And then… we got the jobs. HOORAH. Joining the Cartel Club with Jayne Yong.

Yay for Ferooze and I, even though Ferooze feels damn doubtful/lazy that he has to WORK.

Yay. I can’t wait for work. So I can spend money on my DARLING STANDLEY!!!! Muacks.

So today I came to school!!! Even though I have holidays, my Standley was MOBBED can! In broad daylight some more. Oh Lord so poor thing. I checked his VisCo class — it ended early.

(I got a pimple. WAA. I masturbated too much.)

(UPDATE: Yay my pimple popped. Thanks OXY.)

Called Ferooze. He’s on his way.

Called Daniel. Yes, Daniel, I’m looking for my darling. Haha. *blushes*

Whoa I saw Standley with dark sunglasses in the canteen. Huge pair can. So I sat across him at a new table, and Jocelyn (ahem Josie I nicknamed today in my head) sat down beside him.
Then Hanif joined us.
Then Ferooze.
Wa.

Actually, it doesn’t look too bad. I can’t even see a reason why he needs to “undergo reconstructive surgery” for his nose, it looks fine. The bruises were damn awful, aww. Huggies, babe. Get well soon.

I can’t believe he suspected *I* was responsible for the beatings. Oh my God, can Standley. Are you mad. I would *NEVER* in my life do anything to harm you. Muacks.

His wallet was stolen. No more cards.
His handphone was stolen. No more sappy calls.

Aww. He has to go through this for a few more days. He’s getting his IC redone and stuff. Oh my. And he keeps telling everyone who’s anyone who’s interested (or otherwise). Of course. Like ChaiTy. HAHA. ChaiTy is such a lady. “GOODNESS,” I remembered her saying in her faux Australian accent.

Josie, Ferooze, Standley and I went to KFC to eat… ahaha. He’s so picky! He want chicken THIGHS. I wanted to slap his face can. Never mind. I bought for him inniways… but the person gave drumstick. Oh for fuck’s sake, he went to exchange the DRUMSTICK for a THIGH. Standley. Piakss. Oh, alright, I give in.

Oi. I wanna go Phillippines for attachment, I think it might be quite fun!

And Standley has 6 months to himself, alone, the house, to himself, nobody else. Wa. Must be a lonely place. Who would pay the bills? Huh!

After filling our tummies, Jocelyn and Ferooze went one direction, and Standley and I went to take the MRT. He invited me to go “dating“. I wouldn’t consider it dating anymore, I believe it should be called “SPENDING QUALITY TIME“.

Yes, I love doing that with Standley… and of course, we share money. I don’t mind lending him a few coins to buy a ticket… since his EZlink card was stolen, ya. So pitiful. So undeserving of such abuse.

TO BOON LAY. Yay. Let’s spend quality time! I saw Syarhan or whoever in the MRT. That fucker. Haha. He used to bully me like 2 or 3 times. But couldn’t let Standley know in front of that Malay guy’s face can I. Had good nice long talks, oh yes, my angel has lots of funny “bad” things to say. Nonetheless, it’s harmless one… so to beat him up is out of the question.

Why did we step off the train at Jurong East? I don’t know, but we stepped back in and got…. COUPLE SEATS. Yay. So fetch. I love couple seats. So cozy. And omg, I’m damn Christian-inclined because of my Christian-influential Sec 4 classmates la.

We both walked and talked to Boon Lay’s library (I think that’s what it is.) I accompanied him to find some books. Wa. I love the library. I love engrossing myself in worthwhile entertaining words. But, FUCK. There were so many MALAYS in Boon Lay. Malay MATS even.

Oh fucking gosh, I felt damn scared la. I dunno for what reason, but hey hey… at least I have him, and he has me. Plus, we (or just ..I) have God on my side. Have faith in God! WOOhoo~~

I borrowed two books. One was on Digital Portfolio (GAAAAH!), one was on How to Draw Fantasy Females.

…

I love girls. I just LO-O-OVE women. But I love Standley more. Haha.

So we went Jurong Point to kill time. OMFG LA. So many Malays everywhere, I felt petrified. Thank God I had my boy with me. Walkwalk together. Heehee.

We passed by this Ah Beng that said (approximately): “Kanina, so many Malay everywhere.” And damn right, that’s true.

Standley’s feeling pretty bummed about finances and tight budgets — well, so am I. So guess what he suggested. We go find a part-time job for me for my holidays. Hah. We shared money (of course, that’s what boyfriends do) to buy The New Paper and look for jobs.

We went to carpark-floor (but not yet carpark), sat ourselves on a bench and Standley was flipping the pages as I was peeking at the words. We tried a few jobs.

Results: NEGATIVE.

Why?

I was..

Great. My arm muscles are hurting like mad. Oww.

Somehow, I can’t get the images of Yi Ling saying, “So SEK-sy…” in front of my face, to me. Got tone one leh. I know it’s not much, I just can’t seem to forget it.

I love today. The smell of smoke entering my nostrils. I love it. I can’t get enough.
I also love Maggi and Me. It’s better than stupid ABC DJ.

I then heard news from one of Standley’s friends… that he got beaten up, robbed, by 2 Malay guys in an elevator. They were hiding somewhere before they assaulted him. I think he lost his handphone.. I wanna msg him so bad. I think I’m going to school tomorrow to show my love to him. That is, if he comes. I don’t blame him if he doesn’t.

I feel his pain. He doesn’t deserve what had happened to him. He’s an angel in my eyes, those Malay guys should just burn in fucking hell for all I care… what misfortune has befallen…

Today. Whee. Gonna be a damn fun post.

To celebrate Jayne Yong’s birthday, they decided to go Sentosa to celebrate.

BUT BEFORE THAT.

At the Tampines bus interchange, Adeline was in front in front of the queue waiting. Wow. She totally dissed me when she saw me. I wanted to say HI! but she quickly turned away and looked out the window. Not a second glance. I don’t even have the urge to scream “BITCH!” loud out. Really. I don’t hate her at all. I know I’m supposed to, but I don’t, and I don’t know why.

Typo? Jayne and Ferooze corrupted my mind. They made me grab my Typo work and basically pon the class. Jane Hooy and Lim Yi Ling are coming too, like yay can!

And how about Standley? This late guy. But it’s OK lor, I don’t blame him, he makes Lille’s Color class sound like HORRIDNESS. Then Ferooze became all Nurul Maideen and repeated “Don’t you worry ’bout a thing” (countless times today). Good Lord la. We waited patiently for Standley at the bus stop as he dealt with HELL aka Color. So poor thing can. I really hope my boy doesn’t fail it.

Standley was finally done.. Yi Ling said he looked gay because of his pants. That’s so nonsense. He looks OK damn hot to me. He’s my boy la, of course I think that way. I didn’t know gays got look one.

Poor Cherine. She waited for…?

Bus 23… depart and the traffic was neverending, but Booze made it. Good Lord can. We played “good pedestrians” and used the traffic light. Diaos. Drizzle drizzle RAIN RAIN! And we’re heading to Little India MRT. And you know what we found out? The whole NorthEast line was DOWN. Oh fucking gosh, so suay. WAITED DAMN LONG FOR THE TRAIN CAN. To Dhoby Ghaut.
Ahh.
Dhoby Ghaut.
Where all my dreams started consuming me.

Then Roseanne invited me to a movie. Reject politely please. My boy went to snatch my phone away from me. Jealousy makes him want to be mean to Roseanne. Honey, it’s OK, it’s you and me, not Roseanne and me. Ok. Loves ya, boy.

Free shuttle bus. But not that exciting — waste of time can. To Outram, ClarkeQuay, then to Outram. HUH. Then to Outram again, then to God knows where. OMG, not only was today sweltering und humid, the stupid NorthEast line had to break down.

Shuttle finally brought us to Harbourfront, where they all ate McDonalds. Cherine invited me to (her gay marketing friend) Jared’s party. Adeline’s coming. So, urm, hey hey. I’m convincable. I can’t ask for sauces when there’s fucking long queues of fucking ugly Malay girls lining up or whatnot. What did I eat so far? 1 french fry. Yum. And I told no one, but my arms were suffering from carrying the dozens of Typo work… ok fine la. I get bad grades. WHICH IS SO DAMN FARNIE ’cause I usually get good grades. I’m a good-grade-kinda-person kay. Why must I be so blurblock har. My brain’s become very stoned.

Let’s ride the bus to Sentosa. Screams. Woohoo.

This Indian man sat beside me in the bus. *cough* HIS SMELL SO DAMN PUKES CAN. Then Jayne and my boy were sitting behind.. pulling mah hair und mah ear got flickied. “STOP TOUCHING ME,” I vaguely remember saying. Sure enough, the Indian man wanna act innocent and sit farther from me.

TAKE ANOTHER BUS. Oh, gosh, I sure am sick of buses today. What the hell, I take buses to school everyday anyway. Gah. I’m mad. Oh darn I sure miss the monorail.

SILOSO BEACH. Or is it Sentosa Beach? Whatever the name — stepping into the shower room with Ferooze and Standley, I saw a man with his STUFF hanging out, with pubic hair so outstretched. Omgla, I want to die can. Does Singapore allow this? Haha. I’m not used to this, and I never will be. Imagine those flaccid penises hanging around your face all the time. I might die, can. Trauma overflow!

Then soon the 6 of them played volleyball. And Cherine’s camera was so fun. I mean, I wish I had a real camera. I love photography to bits and pieces of my soul. And catch slutty moments that my boy does. BOOYAH! They were all screaming at me that wearing jeans to the beach is weird. It’s not jeans can. It’s jean-looking pants. Or something. I dunno la, it’s cotton, not denim. OMFG, how cool is that.

I hate the Sun.
I hate the Sun.
I hate the Sun.

So so so. Standley and I went for a quick swim in le ocean. Alamak, big mistake on my part. Firstly, I forgot I didn’t eat today, but heh, didn’t turn out that bad la. I just got fatigued easily. OMG, plus, I was wearing a shirt, because Standley wasn’t going to remove his. So bulky la. Make me feel heavy only. Ok fine. WALAO I didn’t know I could get tired THAT easy la. I was panting and the saltwater got all up in my nose. EWW EWW EWW~

And the wind was so nice and strong. Yum. Dry me up. Actually, dry my Tshirt up. I knew it would have been easier if it was un-wet. Never mind. Just peel off the shirt let it dry, and wtf, this beach so deserted. WHICH IS A GOOD THING. The Indian Ocean belonged to us. Fun lerr. But Standley let the sand DRY my shirt instead of the Sun like wtf, darling. A-BISH! Then I played Paris Hilton with my towel. Damn sexual.

And they tried to pull off my shorts in the water.

OMG.

They did that to me during Sec 1 too.

I think I have this undeniably attractive quality about me.. that people wanna just S-T-R-I-P my clothes off and start doing God knows what to me. But no. I won’t let that. I didn’t let that happen in 2002. I’m not going to let that happen in 2006. Wa. I feel like a boyband member or something. Hurhur.

Ok la, I don’t want to kick Cherine anymore. So I pinch a bit lor. My pinches aren’t that bad la. COMPARE TO FEROOZE’S ONES. Oh Lord, I’m so sweet. I won’t harm you (on purpose) one ok. Just don’t drown me like my boy did to me. (Meanie.)

He probably won’t remember this but he held my hands today. Both. In the water. I loved it.

How many times did Standley litter today? 5. None. He’s an angel can.

Taking pictures in the dark.
Trying to make candles light against the strong gale.

OK, to the shower rooms we go. These group of men were leaving, so basically Standley, Ferooze and I had the rooms to ourselves. Standley went to use the public shower. Strip into his bare nakedness. Beautiful butt. Nice boobs. PLUS, he used someone’s shampoo dunnowhat. I NEED THE SHAMPOO. There’s still effing wax in my hair. He even teased me with his pubes. (Where’s his treasure trail??!) But I didn’t look any *lower* than that. I must respect his wishes mah. See. I’m a damn good boyfriend that way. Oh yeah. And I choreographed a small routine with the shower. It was damn sexual. Like a lapdance. But very short.

And underwear chaos.
And black plastic bags.
And the WAX IS STILL IN MY HAIR.

Standley borrowed my towel.

SQUEALS ~~ sho happie~!

Oh God.

I keep on sounding gayer and gayer…

I want my shampoo, conditioner, body soap. EVERSOFT! I want my toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, facial cleanser, acne medication (why I still use, I have no clue). But all I gots was a towel. Waa.

Ok, let’s wear our clothes. Finally. PS: I don’t masturbate in the ocean. That’s just immoral. Huh. Then, TAKE MORE PICTURES. But at the expense of missing my XIAOHAO! Weixiang, you owe me a platter of hotness. Can.

DAMN DARK. And singing songs. And catching the bus. And admiring my reflection in the window.

STANDLEY FORGOT MY HOROSCOPE CAN. So disappointing leh. I’m so so so so so disappointed. SLAP SLAP SLAP for you. I felt like strangling him please. Or boxing him. Or carrying out vasectomy on him. DA DA DA~~~~ never mind. I will still love you, even if you pretend to forget.

More buses. Shuttle and whatnot.

And off to Newton.
And Good Lord there was this Indian man at the overhead bridge.
Hmm, strategic location.
But no strategic execution.
What the hell does he want, with his hand outstretched like that?
Money? Food? Condoms?? WHAT LA.
I wish.. later I take out my penknife and mutilate his good hand. WAHAHAHA.

Newton for food! Wow. Seafood! Yum! Veggies? Not my favourite but *gobble gobble*. Oh my fucking, I realised I was INDEED shivering. Well, that’s what happens when I don’t eat the whole day.

So, today, I ate only 1 meal. Goodness.

It felt quite little, but I was full so easily. I’m mad, I know. The stingray was damn delicious la.

$9 for that small simple meal.
I still don’t get how I got full so easily. 1 day 1 meal. Wa. What the –?

MORE PICTURE-TAKING. Damn. Do I really look like a slut? I don’t even try. Maybe I’m just born with that whole slutty face look and that people wanna just S-T-R-I-P my clothes off and start doing God knows what to me. And Standley put his arm around me? Oh that was really nice. Him touching me makes me all warm and joyful inside. I don’t ask much from him anyway.

My boy took the train northwards with me for 1 stop (Novena), but went on a logical rationale about “the last train” and stuff like that. And went south, then west. So poor thing la he. Never mind, he did the right thing, I guess. Hugs and kisses.

First day of the Seventh Month? Cool. By the end of it all, I’ll be starting my next block. HAHA. Poor Standley got the Week 14-17 block for VisCo. My boy, if you’re reading this, I hope you do damn amazing for this module. I can’t stand to see you suffer. Alright. Good luck, have fun, don’t miss us too much kay. Oh, and take REAL good care of your finances please. Hopefully your superstarmates return you your $35 soon. Ok, take care and make me proud! =)

Singapore Idol. Vote For The Worst. Emilee Kang.
http://sgvftw.blogspot.com
Or click [here]

Yay. Let’s make sure Emilee goes far! GO EMILEE. WOOT.

Dear readers, you are currently entering The World Of Me…

I opened the door and gasped. She was sleeping with another man — oh the nerve of her. How dare she take everything away from me.

I snapped my fingers and time stood still; perfectly still, nothing was moving, everything was frozen in space and time. Gradually, time started moving backwards. I walked backwards and she went back under the covers, making joyous moaning, in reverse. Walking backwards. The moon faded away, the sky grew brighter, the sunset became sunrise… everything I did today was erased. A strong force rushed against my face as I looked at the digital analog on my SCV.

7.00 AM. Great. Back in the morning. I sighed as I realised I had to go through my morning all over again. I trudged worriedly to the bathroom, with those disturbing images of oral sex in my head. Oh for the love of God. How could she be practising her sucking skills on the man — he’s old and wrinkly and damn unattractive.

Reaching out for my toothbrush, I suddenly froze.

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I brushed my messy dyed-brown red-highlighted hair against my face before I squeezed the toothpaste onto the head of my toothbrush. I looked in the mirror, dreary-eyed me. All this while, I only wished for some kind of pleasure, and it would have to wait. He was sleeping so soundly on the couch. Aww. What an angel. What if?? What if he realised I was “doing” him. Oh gosh no, I don’t want my boyfriend to know I’m sleeping with this man. He’d be heartbroken if he found out.

He gently stirred in his sleep when my handphone vibrated. I checked the screen. No. I don’t want to talk to him right now.

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I’m heartbroken. I’ve got to use my powers to change my future, to change **HER**… but it’s just too hard to take. Maybe I shouldn’t barge in like I did this evening. Maybe I should just pretend nothing happened. But who was that man?

————————

Maybe I should stop sleeping with him. It’s not right. I’m so sorry I’ve been unfaithful.

————————

I’m leaving her an SMS to say I’ll be busy tonight.

————————

I’m leaving him an SMS to say I won’t be staying over.

————————
Dear readers, you are currently leaving The World Of Me…

At first this picture sucked.
So I made it into a book cover. HAHA. Ok, fine, this one REALLY sucks. It’s really crappy, ja?