I took a picture of this outside my window, using my beloved Lance, but I resized the big ol’ thang to 1024 x 768 desktop size, and I’m currently using the colour version as my wallpaper. The black and white seems rather dull … you can have it, if you wish.

But today, after my shower, I held Lance in my hands..

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This guy is freaking amazing (the word here is amazing)… not Photoshop, but MS Paint, to recreate the Mona Lisa. I’m just at a loss for words watching this video.

Omg. I just realised, I want to be a bartender when I grow up. Sure, I may not have Bar training, such as Lee Cheng, Lewis or Hui Shan, but really… bartending sounds super duper cool. Mixing things into a glass is like, so awesome.

I think people, knowing me, will think that I’ll, instead, create deadly poisons with all the alcohols that KILL.

No la.

If given proper training, I won’t kill people with alcohol! Unless those noobs go and drink 23958 glasses of it in one night, but hey, that’s not my responsibility is it?

I searched “bartending games” then I found this one software that is like a guide to bartending. And it’s super interactive la.

I tell you, the first time I saw the interface, I was intimidated like shit. I took a Collins glass, filled it with ice, added some random chemicals (!!!) and put it in my blender… omg I am siao. But little did I know there was a recipe book that would help me through my practice. I can be such a dumbass at times.

I learnt how to do a Bloody Mary and Screwdriver!!! I put a fucking celery as garnish in my Bloody Mary la, it’s fucking hilarious.

Of course, I’m only on the Level 1 drinks… sigh. Of course, I must try very hard la. And I have to measure the fucking liquids by ounces. Jesus! Never mind, it’s OK. But many of my drinks contained vodka though, I’m not sure whether that’s good for health or not.

[[ Download demo. ]]

I’m loving bartending. Booyah!

How can my blog suddenly have (*update) 535 views today?

And rising. All thanks to this forum … whoever posted up my blog. Aiyoh I cannot tahan the sharp rise la. Let’s see where we go from here.

Hello my little elves. I’m here to bore you to death with what happened today!

I pangseh-ed Jack, and went to work instead, as Cashier, and yeah! Perfect Cashiering. Only -$0.40, just like the previous shift… which means no errors. Hoorah.

Hmm. What’s interesting today huh. A group of gays in their late 20’s/early 30’s came to eat at Cartel, I was so shocked that straight-looking men like them are so gay. Anyway.

Rina, who *cough* performed *cough*  “I’m With You” at TCC on that Genesis day… yeah, she ate at Cartel today. Huh. Nowadays people I recognise always eat at my restaurant. Hurhur. I say “my restaurant” machiam I own the restaurant liddat. I just said one sentence to Rina, “I think I know you.” Haha. I love to act as if I’m some kind of a mysterious stranger… ooooh lele, oooh lala.

I hate Naziehah’s guts. Out of topic, but still, I cannot deny my hatred for her. I think I’m overreacting, but really, if you don’t hate Naziehah, who is the Queen of Easy Hateability, then who CAN you hate?

Oh and I’m so frustrated at all of you for not doing my friend quiz! I want to kill your chikins before they hatch! And trust me, my psychic powers are not to be messed with. Once, I killed my imaginary “friend” using only my mind. I made her implode on demand.

But that’s another story for another day.

I really don’t know what to type now. Zhi Wen got me addicted on that snow rabbit jumping on bells game… oh shit. Am I so free now?

I am at a lack of inspiration now. Boo.

WHAT DO I BRING FOR CREATIVE WRITING AND ADVERTISING?!

Sweet sugar Candyman
x0×0
Candy.

Lol. Hier la nuit, $#@%!& a voulu que je fût son fond. Comme dans le sexe. Gah. Je vraiment ne peux pas m’aider. Je veux le sexe tellement mal ! Et il recommande des rapports à la toilette d’handicap de NUS et vide des douches. Elle alors, être, ma première fois n’ayant pas le $#@%!& sur un lit. Comme l’ow.

23 ans de .

[Image removed per request.]

C’est lui, sur la droite d’extrémité. Ignorez les Caucasiens stupides, il n’a pas eu le $#@%!& avec eux. Je jure.

Ainsi, il m’a appelé, dire, “venu maintenant. Appelez-moi quand vous avez atteint.” Grr. Il a “une voix lancée gentille” juste, à la différence de tous mes associés. Profondément et droit-retentir. Quel d’arrêt. Cependant, pas aussi fortement lancé que la diva d’ADM. Je l’aime beaucoup bah.

Pour mémoire, il est le premier associé potentiel que j’ai jamais dû m’avoir envoyé une photo de se. Remerciez la qualité qu’il est assez sociable pour avoir un $#@%!&. À la différence de moi, parce que je suis assez peu sûr à Photoshop mon visage =. = mais thought $#@%!& de I est “dans” la chose maintenant ? Si vous savez jouer avec $#@%!&, vous réussirez à la vie.

Bien, je suis réussi. Je devine. Mais, ne prenez pas mon mot pour lui, parce que pendant que chacun sait, mes théories s’élèvent à rien finalement, ainsi, vous feignent juste n’a pas entendu un mot simple I dit, excepté la pièce de $#@%!&.

Plus de photos ?

[Image removed per request.]

[Image removed per request.]

Bien, ainsi, au cas où vous vous demanderiez, j’ai obtenu toutes ces photos de $#@%!&, et le NON, N’ESSAYENT PAS même de rechercher son profil… qu’il est restreint-privé, juste comme le mien, et tous autres $#@%!&. Ainsi ne prenez pas la peine d’entrer dans votre $#@%!&, allant à MON profil, recherchant alors son profil de moi. Je vous dis que, il ne va pas fonctionner.

La seule source de $#@%!& que vous jamais obtiendrez, êtes……… de moi. Hua-hua-hua.

Un peu gaspillé bien ? Qu’il est $#@%!& ?

Puits…

Un peu gaspillé bien ? Que je suis $#@%!& ?

Yes, I shall try, yes, try to… limit how much I use my big big fonts. It’s so disgusting in retrospect. Maybe I should just stop with the gimmicky sizes.

I’m listening to Carrie Underwood singing, “I’ll Stand By You” and it’s so pure and angelic and she’s surrounded by all these HIV-positive Africans. But I need one question of mine to be answered, “Why is society donating so much of their hard-earned money to Africa’s AIDS-infected people … when these Africans are just going to die in a short period of time anyway?

As if money can cure AIDS. People think money can do anything, bah.

I also think all Africans look the same.

HEADACHE LA.

Tonight is work. We were all jammed beyond 7.30 PM then later, toned down. Lalalalalala ~~~I also worked with Royce, who happens to be a “Teo”, like me. People at work are saying he’s handsome, just because he uses hairspray. He’s not bad, but I’m so in love with his spirit and energy, that… that I used to have. Deep heave.

AhBa said I look sad. What’s new…
Jesslyn said I look more demure with my haircut. Like, I know right?

Top 10 Reasons Why I Physically Look Like A Little Boy

• I am shorter than most guys my age
• My shoulders are not as broad as most boys
• My voice is super-high pitched
• I have a big head as compared to my body
• I have rabbit teeth

Bah. I cannot think of ten reasons, so let’s just stick with half of that.
To change the topic, now that I’ve borrowed, I realise that it’s NOT my interest in reading has disappeared… the real reason is, I have different tastes now as I mature mentally. A bit scary, now that I prefer to read non-fiction nowadays.

What… sooner or later, you’ll see me evolve from reading 8 Days, to reading The Straits Times. OH MY GOD. I’m growing up too fast!!!! I refuse to be conformed by brainwashing in the media. It’s all lies!!! ROAR!

*approaches a stack of newspapers with caution, eyeing it carefully….*

ROAR!

*pounces on the stack and rips it into shreds, quite violently*

IT’S!
ALL!
LIES!!!! MOTHERFUCKING LIES!!!!

*rests* Sometimes, that’s what us Buddhists love to do as pasttimes. Rip newspapers, thinking that the content inside lies to everyone! Journalists are evil! All journalists MUST DIE!

*kicks all journalists in the shin*

F00K-YIEWWW~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wah, I need my medication, man. Otherwise the population of journalists will decrease negatively. Decrease negatively? Like, fuck, duh, is there such thing as “decrease positively?” Omg, Ed, I swear, sometimes you are the stupidest fuck in the blogosphere, yet, you are the most brilliant fuck a gay guy could ask for.

Thank you, Ed, for being a fuck. For being a very good fuck. May all people who aspire to be good fucks also lead this road to good-fuckdom so all these soon-to-be-dead journalists are replaced by good fucks like us!!! Now, let us rejoice by roaring in unison!

** R - O - A - R ~!~!~!~!~!~!~! **

So, to all journalists, please, be good to fucks like us. Otherwise, you will have no other option other than to conform… into one of us… a fuck. Of course, none of us would want the whole world to become fucks, please. I’m not Ruler of the Universe, I don’t want my people to turn into The Best Same Damn Thing.

Hmm. I feel like roaring again.

** R - O - A - R ~!~!~!~!~!~!~! **

Now, I’m going to bring all my journalist friends and my fuck spawns to Harry Potter’s dormitory so we can play QUIDDITCH! YARRRRRR.

My family didn’t notice that I cut my hair.

To dream that you are crying, signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself.

WHY THIS IS TRUE: People have been saying how unhappy I look, or have become. I think crying in the dream does speak millions.

To wake up crying, represents some suppressed hurt or previous trauma that is coming up to the surface.

WHY THIS IS TRUE: I thought I dreamt that I was crying, but I woke up to find real tears rolling down. I thought to myself, “WTF am I doing?” I went back to sleep.

To see lightning in your dream, signifies sudden awareness, insight, and purification. Alternatively, lightning may imply a shocking turn of events. It suggests the many forces governing your life may be beyond your control.

WHY THIS IS TRUE: The last sentence is most correct. I don’t really have much control over my life… I can’t even give blowjobs in peace, God damn it. I also want to go clubbing, damn… shit. Urgh please.

To hear thunder in your dream, signifies a violent eruption of anger and aggression. Alternatively, it is an indication that you need to pay attention and learn an important life lesson.

WHY THIS IS TRUE: It was a scary dream I had. Fuck the “important life lesson” shit. As of now, I can’t think of any I should learn.

To dream that you are quarreling with a certain person, signifies that there is some hidden hard feelings and conflict toward that person and you are having difficulties talking about. This dream functions to help open that line of communication with that person in your waking life.

WHY THIS IS TRUE: So funny, that people like Yong Kang, Zhi Wen, Darren and Kai En appear in my dream, I quarrelled with NONE of them. Instead, I quarrelled with… a girl, but the possibilities are far from few, so I’ll let you do the thinking. To make life easier for you, it wasn’t Adeline.

If the sky is cloudy and overcast, then it foretells of sadness and trouble.

WHY THIS IS TRUE: LIKE DUH.

I also dreamt that 2 fictional schools were debating in the Arena, “The Missy Girls” was one group… and urm… yah. That’s the thing about stupid dreams, you can never remember every single thing.

Ok, a few things to show you I owed yesterday. This is a video of Yiling and Standley at IKEA, exploring and whatnot.

Miss Black. She’s dressed in black, from head to toe. She is a shadow, literally.

My Fish and Chips from Jupiter Cafe. I have, surprisingly, great penmanship, using the bottle to spell my blog out.

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